


Coming Out

by under_the_blue_moonlight



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Agender Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Genderfluid Logic | Logan Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21999196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/under_the_blue_moonlight/pseuds/under_the_blue_moonlight
Summary: Logan's decided something big: she's going to come out as genderfluid to her family. There's just a slight problem: Virgil's planning to come out as agender the same day.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 111
Collections: Sanders Sides Secret Santa 2019





	Coming Out

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my gift to @poorcopingskills. Sorry that I got it in late, the flu sucks. Hope you enjoy!

Logan took a deep breath as he waited- No. Wait. Not he. No more misgendering herself after today, nor being misgendered by others if this went to plan.

Logan took a deep breath as _she_ stood outside the door to the kitchen, where she knew Patton was preparing some of the food for dinner tomorrow; Patton did not go lightly for Christmas dinner, he went all in. Roman usually helped him, so if Logan went in now, she could kill two birds with one stone, and then she’d just need to tell Virgil and then she’d be done.

Well, she’d have to come out to Deceit and Remus too when they arrived for the Christmas celebrations, but it would be easier after she’d done it the first time.

Logan fiddled with her skirt. This was it. Once this was done, she couldn’t go back. That wasn’t much of an issue, though. She was completely prepared. She had a system for how the others could be able to tell which pronouns she wanted to use based on her tie - pattern equals he/him, block colour equals they/them, no tie equals she/her. She knew the others weren’t transphobic. So why was she so nervous?

Well, she needed to push it behind her. This was her moment.

Alright, time to come out to-

“Uh, Patton? Roman? I’ve, um… I’ve got something I need to tell you,” Virgil’s voice spoke from the kitchen, causing Logan to stop before she opened the door.

“What is it, kiddo?”

“I… I, um... “ Virgil took a deep breath. “I’magender!”

“What was that?” Roman asked. “You spoke kinda fast…”

“I’m agender… I’ve decided I don’t quite fall into the normal binary, and I want to use they/them pronouns.I know it’s kind of weird, since we’re aspects of Thomas’ personality, and he’s cis, so we surely should be, but… I just don’t feel like a guy. But I’m also not a girl. I’m neither.”

Oh no.

Don’t get Logan wrong, she was proud of Virgil. Extremely so! She knew how hard it is, it had taken her ages to build up the courage to come out today.

But that was the problem. Now she felt like she shouldn’t. Today was Virgil’s day to come out, it would feel wrong for Logan to come out now. She was worried the others would think she was just fishing for attention in response to Virgil’s coming out.

As she listened to Patton and Roman congratulating and reassuring Virgil in the kitchen, Logan solemnly clicked her fingers. With that, her clothes went from a dress to her usual black polo shirt, striped tie and jeans.

She sighed. It felt so wrong to be wearing this tie. It symbolised he/him, and those pronouns felt so icky today. Hearing those pronouns come from the others’ mouths would be horrible.

But she guessed she’d just have to live with it for now.

She straightened her tie, before opening the door to the kitchen and stepping in. The other three all turned to her, before Patton and Roman both gave Virgil reassuring glances. Virgil took a deep breath. “Um, Logan? I, uh, I have something I need to tell you… I’m-”

“Agender and wish to use they/them pronouns from now on,” Logan responded. “I heard through the door. Well done on coming out.”

She grabbed a jar of Crofters from the refrigerator, before leaving the room and heading back to her bedroom, where she was likely going to cry in frustration, while simultaneously hating herself for feeling that way, as it wasn’t Virgil’s fault that they had planned to come out on the same day she had.

What a great way to celebrate Christmas Eve.

-

Patton, Roman and Virgil were all working together on preparing the vegetables for Christmas dinner, and the stuff for lunch that day. It was a lot of work. Patton was about to suggest they go ask Logan to come help out, when two guests walked in.

“A shitty Bitchmas and a crappy New Year to all!” Remus grinned as he and Deceit came into the room.

“Language!” Patton scolded. “But you two arrived just in time, we need someone to start preparing the sprouts. And no covering them in deodorant this year!”

Remus whined as he and Deceit took seats and started to help. Roman broke off from singing along to the Christmas music they had playing to speak. “Um, Virge, you have anything you need to tell these two?”

Virgil didn’t respond for a moment, seeming distracted by something and not realising they were the one being spoken to. “Hm? Oh, um, they already know. I told them a while ago.”

“Wait, what?! Why?”

“I’ve been friends with them longer.”

“I’m guessing this is about Virgil being agender?” Deceit asked. “I’m hoping you all took it well…”

Patton nodded. “Of course! It doesn’t change anything. Virge is accepted just as they were before.”

“By two of you…”

“Huh?”

Everyone turned to Virgil, who sighed. “Don’t pretend you didn’t notice. Logan… he just kinda brushed it off. I don’t think he took it well…”

“Aw, kiddo, you know what Lo’s like, I’m sure it’s fine.”

“I dunno…” Roman said. “He was rather dismissive and cold. I mean, even he should know how hard it is to come out and give a bit more of an appropriate reaction. The only explanation is that he isn’t okay with it.”

Virgil began biting their nails, panic starting to appear on their face. Deceit and Remus shared a look, and the former nodded. The two stood, and started to leave the room.

“We’ll be right back,” Deceit said as they went into the hall, leaving Patton and Roman confused, and Virgil even more worried.

“Oh dear god, they’re gonna kill Logan…” they mumbled. “They’ve always been way too protective…”

-

Logan was pacing. She’d tried her hardest to bury herself in her work and try to distract her from, well, all the bad feelings she had. But they just wouldn’t go away. Who knew simply wearing a tie could make her feel so wrong? She’d spent so long in the closet, why was it hurting her so much only now?

… You know, maybe she didn’t have to wear it. I mean, none of the others knew what her not wearing a tie meant, so they wouldn’t question it. Sure, constantly being referred to with he/him pronouns would mean she would still feel icky, but it’d be a little better without a symbol of a masculine identity around her neck. Heck, she could probably even put her dress back on. The others all wore skirts and dresses casually, so Logan could get away with it without the others asking questions.

Yes, that would make her feel much better! So, she clicked her fingers and her clothes switched to the dress she had previously been wearing, the tie absent from her neck. She smiled. So much more comfortab-

_SLAM!_

She turned to the door as it was slammed open. Remus was stood there, morning star in hand. “I heard someone here hasn’t been supporting trans rights… Are you ready to face the consequences?”

Logan had no chance to find her voice in the midst of a bout of confusion, as a yellow gloved hand ripped the morning star from Remus’ hand. “Let us not jump to conclusions, Remus. Give Logan a chance to explain himself.” Deceit turned to the logical side. “Virgil told us you didn’t have a very positive reaction to them coming out as agender.”

Logan blinked. “Wha…? No I didn’t! Their identity is completely valid and I support them.”

Deceit raised an eyebrow. “Then why did Virgil and Roman say you ‘brushed it off’ and you were ‘dismissive and cold’?”

They thought that? Had she really acted that way? Oh… now that Logan thought about it, she had brushed Virgil off and left almost immediately. How on earth could she have been so rude?!

“Oh god… I was, wasn’t I? I’m so sorry, I never intended to come across that way, I…” She paused, raising a hand to her cheek, finding it wet. Great. Now she was crying and making a fool of herself in front of Deceit and Remus… Fantastic…

Deceit and Remus both shared glances, not having expected this. Deceit cleared his throat, stepping forward. “Well… if it really was just a mistake, then you can just go and explain to Virgil and everything will be okay, right? You don’t need to get upset, Logan…”

Logan nodded, wiping her eyes. “R-right… S-sorry…”

“It’s okay, Lo. Come on, they’re still in the kitche-”

“I’m genderfluid.”

Remus and Deceit had been expecting that even less. The two slowly turned back to Logan from where they were heading to the door. Logan’s hands were shaking a little. “Sorry, I… I just had to tell someone! I was gonna come out today, but then Virgil did, and I didn’t want to ruin their moment, but I got upset and let it make me bitter towards them, and now I feel awful and…” She trailed off, biting her lip to hold back a sob. “I’m sorry…”

“No… No, Logan, you don’t need to apologise,” Deceit stepped back over to Logan, pulling her into a hug. “It’s not your fault. Look, let’s go talk to Virgil. Then you can apologise and ask if it’s okay for you to come out today too.”

“And it’d probably be a bit of a dick move if they said no,” Remus added. “So I doubt they will!”

Logan gave them both grateful smiles, wiping her eyes. “Thank you… You know, it’s hard to believe we hated you for so long. You’re really not that bad.”

“Really not that bad. That’s the nicest compliment I’ve ever been given…” Remus faked getting choked up, causing Deceit to roll his eyes.

“Come on you two… Oh, by the way, Logan, what are your pronouns today?”

Who knew being asked that could feel so great? Logan figuratively felt her heart soar. “She/her.”

Deceit nodded, before leading the other two sides from Logan’s bedroom. They headed down the hall, back to the kitchen. However, when they stepped inside, they froze.

Patton and Roman were still working on the food. But Virgil wasn’t there.

“Where’s Virge?” Deceit asked, getting the attention of Patton and Roman.

“I dunno, kiddo… They said they were going to the bathroom, but that was a while ago. They should be back by now…”

Logan bit her lip, fiddling with her skirt. This was not good.

-

_Well done, Virgil, great fucking job! You have no idea why Logan reacted the way he did, you don’t know his perspective, you have no idea what his thought process is, but you just went and jumped to a conclusion and then were stupid enough to voice it out loud and tell Deceit and Remus, who take no shit against you, and now they’re going to yell and maybe even hurt Logan for something that you don’t know is even true, and it’s all your fault, you’re stupid, stupid, STUPID, STU-_

_Knock knock!_

“Virgil? Are you there?”

Logan’s voice. Logan, who’s thankfully still alive, so at least Deceit and Remus didn’t kill him. But he could still be injured. And he sounded upset, they at least made him cry. And it was because of Virgil.

“Can I come in?”

Virgil couldn’t respond. They couldn’t breathe. They tried to count themselves through their breathing exercises, but their lungs just wouldn’t cooperate.

“Virgil? Please respond?”

Neither would their mind, apparently. The voice in their head would start counting to four to breathe in, but half way through switch to berating them for their fuck up instead.

They’d ruined Christmas already. For it to happen so fast has to be a world record or something.

“Virgil, I’m coming in…”

As Logan stepped into the bedroom, she could feel her hands shaking. However, all worry about herself disappeared once she saw Virgil. They were curled up in a ball on their bed, breathing erratic, eyes wide with terror and full of tears.

She had caused this. Now, she needed to fix it;

Logan ran over, kneeling beside the bed. “Virgil? Can you hear me?”

Virgil gave a shaky nod.

“Can I touch you?”

Another nod.

Logan took one of their hands and placed it to her chest. “Try and copy my breathing, okay? It’s going to be alright.” She counted in her head, breathing in time with it so that Virgil could copy. Gradually, they did so and began to calm down. Once she was sure they were calm enough, she spoke again. “I’m so sorry, Virge. I should have shown more my support more clearly this morning. I’m so proud of you for coming out, and I accept who you are 100%. I’m sorry for acting the way I did. I just… I was a little downhearted because I was going to come out today…”

Virgil’s eyebrows furrowed. “Come out…?”

”Yes. I’m genderfluid. When you came out, I was afraid I’d make you upset if I came out right afterwards. It felt weird to do that and, like, take away from your moment…”

Logan couldn’t continue, being silenced as Virgil shook their head. “No, Lo… I don’t give a shit about ‘my moment’. You need to be you comfortably. You can come out, you shouldn’t let me get in the way...”

“Really?”

“Of course! God, now I feel awful for making you feel like you couldn’t-“

“Don’t! It’s not your fault.”

There was a pause between the two of them before Virgil chuckled. “We’re disasters, aren’t we?”

“Yeah…” Logan nodded with a smile. She offered a hand to Virgil. “Come on. Let’s head back to the others. They’re worried about you. And I need to come out to them.”

Virgil accepted her hand and let themselves be pulled to their feet. The two of them left the room together and headed back to the kitchen.

“Hey, guys,” Virgil waved as they stepped back in. “Sorry I disappeared on you all.”

Patton smiled. “As long as you’re doing good, it’s alright, kiddo.”

“Thanks, Pat. Anyway… Logan needs to tell you all something.”

Logan gave Virgil a thankful smile before turning to Patton and Roman. She took a deep breath. “I’m genderfluid. And today I’m using she/her pronouns.”

Almost immediately, she found herself wrapped in a hug from Patton, and being given the same congratulations from both him and Roman as Virgil had. Eventually, Roman turned to Remus and Deceit. “Aren’t you two going to say anything?”

The two responded at the same time. “We already knew.”

“What?! Why do these two get to know everything before us?!”

Logan shrugged. “They were the ones who came in to check on me earlier. If you’d been the one to do so, I probably would have told you.”

Roman just grumbled.

“You know, it’s funny…” Virgil said, taking a seat at the table. “I have completely abandoned gender. Meanwhile, Logan is hoarding all of them and switching between them.”

This earned a chuckle from everyone until Patton turned to Logan. “How will we stay up to date with what pronouns you want to use, kiddo? Will you tell us, or…?”

“I’ve actually made a system. If I’m wearing a tie with a pattern, I wish to use he/him. If I’m wearing a tie with a block colour, I wish to use they/them. If I’m not wearing a tie at all, she/her. If there are any differences, like I want to use xe/xir or something else one day, I’ll tell you.”

Everyone nodded, Roman summoning a notepad to write the information down, not trusting himself to remember it perfectly. Once he was done, Patton clapped his hands together. “Now, I think we’ve got all the food as done as it can be for now. How about a board game?”

Remus grinned. “Cards Against Humanity!”

“No! We’re playing family friendly games.”

“How about Monopoly?” Logan suggested.

“No thanks. I’d rather not have all our friendships ruined by capitalism,” Deceit replied. “UNO?”

“Oh yeah, because Monopoly ruins friendships, but UNO toootally doesn’t.” Virgil rolled their eyes.

“The Chameleon?” Roman pitched in.

“Ooh, yes!” Deceit smiled, only to be shoved in the arm by Remus.

“Only because you always win it!”

Then, Logan gave the final suggestion. “Clue?”

“I’m always for a game about murder!!!”

“As a lawyer, crimes are my forté.”

“And as a prince, catching criminals is mine!”

“Then Clue it is!” Patton smiled. “I’ll go get it!” He turned and left the room. When he returned with the board game, Deceit raised a glass.

“Merry Christmas, everyone. And congratulations to Virgil and Logan. It was very brave of you to tell us.”

Everyone raised their glasses as well, echoing the words. Virgil and Logan shared smiles. They had a feeling this was going to be the best Christmas yet.


End file.
